"All Over Again" (continued) "I just don't understand why you had to invite that Charlie Hailey." Ginger could practically feel the daggers coming from her mother's eyes stabbing the back of her head. Funny how the mere sound of her voice was enough to instantly transform Ginger into a ten year old again, though here she was--twenty-six years old and married already, for heaven's sake. She looked at Jeff, silently pleading for his help, but all he could offer her was a smile of solidarity. This was going to be a long evening if this car ride was any indication. "I can't imagine why you'd want him at this dinner anyway, much less at the wedding," Catherine Szabo went on, completely unaware that in the front seat, her daughter was wishing she could crawl into a hole right at that moment. "Isn't this the same man you cried yourself to sleep over three years ago?" "Mother, please," Ginger finally said, knowing if she didn't speak up now, the conversation would just continue spiral in the same direction. Beside her, Jeff was nobly trying to keep his laughter in check--a good effort on his part, but she gave his arm a good squeeze just the same for good measure. "Ow," he whispered. He flinched noticeably--Ginger hoped her mother hadn't seen or heard his reaction. "That's my throwing arm, in case you've forgotten." But Mrs. Szabo was apparently oblivious to the entire thing. "'Mother, please,' what?" Ginger took a deep breath and tried to think good thoughts. "Mother, do you have to be so angry at Charlie still? "Why in heaven's name shouldn't I be angry at him still? "You know he's a good friend of ours," Ginger said. From the corner of her eye she saw Jeff biting his lip to keep from laughing. "That was so long ago, Mother, we've all gotten over it, why can't you?" "Well you may have forgiven him, Virginia, but I don't have to. This is the two-timing louse who broke my little girl's heart, after all. I think I am more than entitled to hold a grudge." On the rearview mirror, Ginger caught sight of her mother slipping an arm through her father's and Ginger thought she was going to die. "Isn't that right, Harold?" "Right, dear," he half-grunted. Her father was a man of few words, Ginger knew. Of course, being married to a woman who was as chatty as her mother was, Ginger wasn't surprised at all that he was only able to get in a few words in edgewise. She looked at him in the rearview mirror and shot him a look of sympathy. "Besides, Virginia, if I were really as angry at him as you think I am, I would have sent your father over to teach him a lesson a long time ago." Ginger resisted the urge to turn around and look at her mother; instead she reached over to squeeze Jeff's arm again, and this time he refrained from complaining. "He's still got lots of connections at the station, after all, don't you, Harold?" "Yes, dear." "Lots of connections, Virginia," she said, leaning forward and placing a hand on Ginger's shoulder. "These men would do anything for their former sergeant, of course." Ginger sank in her seat. "Mother, you don't mean that..." Mrs. Szabo laughed and settled back in the backseat with her husband. "Well, of course, I don't," she said. "But I still can't understand why you choose to be friends with that man. Although I do thank God that you didn't marry him after all--he might have just ended up divorcing you. Oh, I can't bear the thought of it." "If you had spent two minutes with that tramp he married," Ginger said, nearly gagging at the thought of Caroline, "you wouldn't blame him for getting divorced either." "Virginia, really! How can you say such a thing? Honestly, I don't know what it is with your generation. Do you know that the divorce rate in this country is now at 25%? Goodness gracious... Of course I still can't fathom how your Aunt Winona ever married a divorced man." "Jeff's mother married a divorced man. And everyone's happy, isn't that right, Jeff?" Jeff nodded and smiled weakly into the rearview mirror. Ginger could tell he didn't appreciate being dragged into the debate now, but she needed her own ammunition. "See? So it's not all cut and dried, Mother." "Virginia, you know full well that Mr. Kahn's first marriage wasn't in the Church, so it was perfectly all right for Mrs. Kahn to marry him." Ginger sighed and shook her head. There was no use arguing with her--her mother was always going to win. "But enough of that," Mrs. Szabo finally said. "I'm just so happy you married such a wonderful young man like your Jeffrey." Ginger blinked a few times and turned to Jeff--like her, he was too stunned for words right now. "Did I... Did I just hear you right, Mother?" Mrs. Szabo giggled and tapped Ginger playfully on her shoulder. "Now what is that supposed to mean? You know how much I love Jeffrey." Ginger could have sworn she heard Jeff snicker--her mother seemed to have conveniently forgotten the night she first brought Jeff over for dinner at their house, and the disastrous inquisition that followed--but Mrs. Szabo continued without missing a beat. "You know, just the other day, Mrs. Leahy stopped by the bakery to pick up her daughter's wedding cake," she chirped. "Her daughter's getting married, you know--her youngest. Harold, what's her name, do you remember?" "Marjorie." "Right, Marjorie. Anyway, Mrs. Leahy couldn't resist showing off about her soon to be son-in-law. She said Marjorie was marrying a school teacher at St. Andrew's. He teaches the third grade math, she says. Well, I wasn't about to have her imply that my daughter had done any worse with her husband. So I proudly informed her that my son-in-law is a handsome baseball player who plays for the Cleveland Indians. Oh Virginia, you should have seen her eyes pop open!" Now it was Ginger's turn to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "And I just couldn't help myself, I made sure to remind her that my daughter is a television personality to boot--of course, she doesn't own a television set, but I know for a fact she remembers you as the Lemo Tomato Juice Girl, and I swear, if that woman's face didn't turn a thousand shades of green..." When Mrs. Szabo finally finished her story, Jeff looked into the rearview mirror, and Ginger saw him lock eyes with her father. "So sir," he said, in as casual voice as he could manage, "What do you think about those Reds?" "Oh thank heaven they're all here," Ginger whispered to Jeff as they stepped through the door of the Purl Roadhouse. She was still clinging to his arm like a drowning woman holding on to a life preserver, but by now it would do no good to tell her had he had lost all sensation in that limb thanks to her unrelenting grip. But then, Coach always told him to do what he had to in order to please his wife--better let this go unsaid. "If I had to hear my mother say one more word I was going to scream. Do you ever notice that she barely lets anyone else get in a word?" Jeff tried his best not to laugh. "What?" "Nothing." He made sure to give her his best 'innocent' look. "C'mon," he said, seeing Charlie in the corner of the room, waving his hand to motion them over, "looks like our table's ready." Jeff turned behind him to make sure his parents-in-law had caught up to them then slid his hand to the small of Ginger's back and led her to their table. "What took you so long--oh, excuse me, good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Szabo." Charlie tipped his head and smiled awkwardly. Jeff looked at Mrs. Szabo--she didn't seem moved by Charlie's gesture. "Hello, Mr. Hailey," she said. The ice in her voice must have brought the temperature down by several degrees. She turned to everyone else and beamed. "Hello, everyone, how nice to see all of you..." Jeff felt Ginger squeeze his arm again and heard a small groan from her, but felt it best not to let on that he had heard, knowing that his mother-in-law--who stood right beside him--would have noticed for sure. "Shall we?" Al said, motioning everyone to sit down. Jeff saw him make eye contact with someone at the bar. Out of curiosity, he turned to see what Al could have been up to, and saw Judy making her way to their table carrying a bucket full of ice--the neck of a champagne bottle sticking out at the top. "Oh my word..." "Now, Ginger, don't you start crying now," Judy teased. "You'll mess up your make-up." She pulled the chilled bottle from the bucket and handed it over to Al. "Since you were the one who ordered this, I say you have the honors, sir." "You?" Jeff looked over at Al, met by his mischievous grin. "Don't look so surprised, slugger," he said. "Anne and I--well, you and Ginger have made our lives nothing short of terrific since we've moved back. It's the least I can do to thank you." "And I'm just happy we're going to get to be a part of this wedding," Anne added. Jeff grimaced. "I don't suppose you're ever going to let me and Ginger live that down." "Not in this lifetime, baby brother," Linda said. "You have to admit, you two have given us plenty of things to talk about for years to come." "Oh well thank you very much, Linda." Al raised his glass to the air. "All right, looks like I need to step in here between brother and sister, so maybe this is the perfect time for a toast." He nodded at Jeff and Ginger. "To a couple of kids who wouldn't let anything stand in their way-" "My, it looks like you all have something to celebrate." Jeff nearly choked on his champagne when he heard the voice--he was almost afraid to turn around when he heard his wife react first. "I'm sorry, this is a private party, Caroline." "Don't worry," Caroline purred, "I would never dream of interfering, love." "Like you have before?" Jeff heard Ginger say under her breath. He watched her muster all of her strength into resisting the urge to hurl the empty champagne bottle at Caroline. "I would ask you to join us," Ginger said, "but gee, it looks like no one at this table likes you very much." Charlie was the first--and loudest--to laugh. "I think that's your cue to leave, Caroline." Caroline forced a smile and as her final gesture, waved at the table. "Well, I best get going. My sincerest congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Metcalf." And with that, she turned and slinked away. "Good riddance," Ginger muttered in Jeff's ear. He had to laugh--Caroline sure brought out the feistiness in his wife. "Have I told you before how cute you get when you're angry?" She smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Very funny, buster." Al cleared his throat. "Well, as I was saying..." He raised his hand once more, and everyone followed suit. "To two people who couldn't be more right for each other. Congratulations the second time around." "Here, here!" Through the tangle of arms and glasses, Jeff noticed Hank sitting quietly at the end of the table. He couldn't help but think that Hank looked as if he wanted to be any place else but right here at this very moment. Ginger tugged at his arm and gave him a kiss, but all Jeff could think about was his brother and how in the world he was going to get him to talk to him. It went on for the rest of the night--a silent awkwardness between brothers that went unnoticed among the laughter and gaiety of the crowd. Every once in a while. Jeff would look in Hank's direction, hoping that at least once, Hank would meet his gaze. But always, his brother avoided his eyes. Hours later, long after Linda had been summoned back to the newspaper to beat the morning edition's deadline, Charlie and Gina had gone home to Emma, and his mother and Al had driven home with Ginger's parents, Jeff found himself alone with Ginger and a silent Hank. "Well, honey, we've got a pretty big day tomorrow, I guess we have to turn in some time," Ginger said, gently caressing his arm--the same arm, Jeff thought with a smile, that she had clung to for dear life earlier. "Hank, we can drop you off at the hotel." "That's all right, Ginger, you don't have to-" "Don't be silly, we don't mind, do we Jeff?" Jeff shook his head, keeping his eyes on his brother, but the coldness of Hank's eyes startled him. "I guess... we should get going," he finally said. After some time, Hank nodded and slowly got up. He said nothing as they walked out into the cool evening breeze; Jeff could feel the weight of his silence but didn't know how to even begin to acknowledge it--especially not in front of Ginger. The last thing he wanted to do was spoil her mood on the eve of their second wedding. "Oh heavens to Betsy!" "What?" Ginger was rummaging through her wicker handbag and shaking her head. "I must have left my gloves in the washroom," she said. "Honey, do you mind?" "No, of course not. We'll wait outside for you." "I promise I won't be long." She gave him a quick kiss and ran inside. The tension clung in the air like a thick fog. Jeff looked at Hank, who stood motionless, staring straight ahead into some distant horizon. "Hank," he said. The awkwardness in his voice almost made him cringe, but he made himself go on. If he didn't say this now, he'd never work up the nerve again. "Talk to me. What is going on with you?" After what seemed like an eternity, Hank finally moved. He turned his head slowly to look in Jeff's direction, and the pain in his eyes was something Jeff had never seen in him before--not even when Sarah had died, not even when he had tried to kill himself two years ago. "Don't you pretend to be concerned about me," he said, his words punctuated with an undeniable bitterness. "Don't you stand there and lie to my face again!" "What-" "Are you going to tell me you didn't try to pass the wool over my eyes, Jeff?" Jeff's head spun. Where was this all coming from? "Look, I know you've had a lot to drink tonight... I don't know what this is all about, but-" "No more lies!" Hank spat out. He reached in his pocket and pulled out something: a piece of paper, or a photograph--Jeff couldn't tell which in the dim light. Hank shoved it in his hands seconds later. "If you've got any kind of decency in you, Jeff, you'll tell me the truth about this now, because God help me, this is the last time I am ever going to ask you." It was him. It was a photograph of him--a picture he hadn't seen in a long time, one he had nearly forgotten about. "Where did you..." He choked on the words, and the gnawing ache in his stomach already told him the answer. "You bastard," Hank whispered. "It was you... God, how could I have been so stupid! Who else would Sarah have turned to? Who would have been with her day in and day out but you?" This was not happening. This could not be happening. "Hank... It's not... That's not how it was-" "Save it! Maybe you'll be able to explain it away to your wife, but it's not going to work on me!" "My wife..." Jeff swallowed hard. He turned to see Ginger frozen in her spot, her big blue eyes flooded with tears. Without hesitating, he started to reach for her, but she ran away. "Ginger! Ginger, wait!" Hank yanked on his on his arm before he could go after Ginger. "Damn it, we are not done here yet!" Jeff easily loosened Hank's grip on his arm and stumbled forward. "You may not give a damn about me, Hank, but you are not going to drag my wife into this!" he screamed. Before he could make another move, Hank lunged after him again, and then knocked Jeff to the ground with a right hook that Jeff never saw coming. For the longest time, neither brother could say nothing. Then finally, Jeff raised a hand to his jaw and got to his feet. "Has anyone ever told you that you make a lousy drunk?" Hank began to shake. The photograph slipped from his open hand and flew away with the breeze. "I'm... I'm sorry, Jeff, I..." Jeff rubbed at his jaw again. And at last he said quietly, "Why did you have to bring this up now, Hank? What good is it going to do anybody? All it's going to do is hurt people..." "Don't talk to me about pain," Hank said. "First I lose my wife to some no good drunk! And now I find out the brother I loved and trusted was the man who betrayed me when I was off risking my life for everything!" Jeff couldn't say anything. Hank had been one raw wound ever since coming back, and the only one who had kept him sane had been Sarah. Losing her had to have killed him--he knew that. "Why didn't you tell me the truth, Jeff?" Hank raised his head to look up at him again. "You had so many chances to tell me..." "Because... Because the truth was... Sarah loved you all along." "That's bull! Are you telling me she would keep this picture of you tucked away in her book if she hadn't been pining for you still?" "Look, I can't explain the picture..." Jeff hesitated. So much of this he had already buried in the past, and he never thought he would be forced to dig it all up again. "We thought we were in love," he finally said. "But... the truth was, we were just fooling ourselves. She didn't choose you out of obligation, Hank. It wasn't because she wanted to do the right thing. She chose you because she loved you, and because... she must have known even then that we weren't meant for each other. I don't know how else to explain it, Hank, but that's the truth." Hank was silent for a long time. And then after a while, Jeff heard his quiet wailing. "God, I just miss her so much," he said. "I miss her..." Jeff walked over to him, and gingerly--afraid his brother would flinch--he placed his hand on his shoulder. "Hank, I won't pretend to know how you feel," he said softly. "Because God knows if anything ever happened to Ginger... But you have got to let us in. You have to let us help you, because... You can't keep on like this." Hank drew breath and wiped his face with his sleeve. "Jeff, I'm..." Jeff nodded. "I know," he said. "I know." She saw him through the window. She knew he would come after her, but she was hoping to have some time to gather her thoughts first before she would face him, but now, as their eyes met through the pane of glass, she knew she had to talk to him. "I have to close up, dear," Mr. Brandstaetter said, "but you're welcome to stay a little longer if you'd like. For old time's sake." Ginger gave him a smile. "Thanks, that's sweet of you," she said. She looked outside at Jeff again. "I should get going, though. Thanks--thanks for the free soda, Mr. Brandstaetter." "Of course, Ginger. Come back soon." She nodded, then headed for the door and faced Jeff. "Ginger... can we--can we go for a walk somewhere?" They walked in silence. At this time of night, even on Fridays, the streets were always empty and still, with nothing but the tall lamp-posts and the cars parked along the curb. Jeff had laced his fingers with Ginger's without her even being aware of it--holding his hand had always felt like the most natural thing in the world, so much so that she wouldn't have noticed him slipping his hand in hers. She looked down on their hands, at the simple gold band on his finger, and she took a deep breath to compose herself. There were a million things she wanted to tell him at this moment, but ironically, not nearly enough of the right words in which to say them. When Ginger looked up, she realized they had come to the park. It was empty now too, except for the few pigeons that picked at the scattered breadcrumbs on the ground. Jeff sat on the bench and gently pulled her down with him. He looked like a mess right now--like a man who didn't have the first idea how in the world to make things right again. And though the wound left by Hank's revelation still stung like crazy, she couldn't bear the look of worry on her husband's face. "Jeff," she began, not looking at him, knowing that if she looked at him now, she would lose her nerve and never be able to get this out, "I know it's silly for me to be upset over this... I mean, what happened in the past, before we got together--I know I don't have a right to get upset over it, but..." "Ginger-" "No, wait, let me finish..." She paused. The last thing she wanted was the make the situation ten times worse by saying the wrong thing, but she also knew that if she didn't now tell him everything that she felt at that moment, there would always be a wall between them. "Jeff, you knew everything about me and Charlie. Heaven knows I've talked your poor ear off about it enough times--and you've always been so sweet to listen to it all..." He laughed softly. "I guess... I guess the reason this hurts so much is that there's this part of your life I never knew about." She stopped herself again, not knowing if she really wanted to know the answer to her next question. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" Jeff let out a quiet sigh, one tinged with regret and remorse. He shifted in his seat and turned to face her directly, reaching a hand to her face to caress her cheek in the loving way that got to her every time. "Ginger... I never wanted you to find out this way," he said. "I don't blame you for being upset. I should have told you a long time ago, but I... There was never a right time. And after a while, I thought... that it didn't matter anymore. We were happy, and I knew it would have only hurt you." "That night--the night of their wedding... You were on the rebound too, weren't you?" He nodded without saying anything. "Jeff... Did you love her?" He didn't answer right away. For a moment, Ginger wondered if she should have asked the question, wondering if it would only hurt her all the more to know the truth. After a while, he said, "Yes. I did, at one time... But it was a long time ago, and..." He leaned in close, his voice cracking slightly when he spoke again. "Once I fell in love with you, Ginger, there was no turning back. I never looked back again." She took her eyes away from him, and after a while, she felt his fingers intertwine with hers again. "I guess I have to wonder now... Do you think of me as a consolation prize? Did you settle for me because... because Sarah had chosen Hank?" Jeff lifted her chin up with his hand and turned her head to face him again. "Do you think of me as your consolation prize because you couldn't be with Charlie?" "Of course not! How can you even think such a thing-" "Exactly." He smiled and leaned back on the bench. "Do you remember when we were kids--you must have been twelve, and I had just turned ten..." Ginger looked at him in curiosity, wondering where he was going with this. "You had come running to our house after school, crying your eyes out 'cause you caught Charlie kissing some girl at the library." "Mary Elizabeth Nystrom," she said, shaking her head. She couldn't help but laugh at the memory. "I was so mad because she was the prettiest girl in school and here I was trying so hard to get Charlie to notice me... I remember Linda saying, 'Now, Ginger, you can't be jumping to conclusions just because you saw Charlie flirting with some girl.' And I told her she was so naive, because it was obvious that Mary Elizabeth had sunk her hooks into him." "You told Linda that you didn't think you'd ever get Charlie to notice you now because you didn't know how to kiss boys." Ginger giggled and felt her cheeks get hot. Good heavens, Jeff had quite a memory. She couldn't believe he was remembering every detail of this, and she was sure he remembered what came next. "Before I knew it," Jeff went on, "Linda was dragging me over and offering me up as your guinea pig for kissing practice." "Only I wasn't allowed to kiss boys yet, and I was too scared that my mother would kill me if she found out..." "... So you ended up kissing me on the cheek." He shot her a devilish grin. "I didn't wash my face for a whole week after that, you know." She blinked back at him. "You didn't?" "Nope. Ginger Szabo kissed me--an older woman! Did you think I was going to forget about it that quickly?" "Well I... I thought you were only into baseball back then. Come to think of it, I thought you were only into baseball even when you were older. So into baseball that you didn't notice any girls." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "Ginger," he whispered, and she thought she would go mad from the sound of his voice and the feel of his breath against her cheek. "My mother always says, God has a plan for all of us. Things work out the way they're supposed to. I don't know why God didn't have us realize back then that we were meant for each other... But the way I figure it--maybe we were supposed to get our hearts broken by other people. Maybe that's what it was going to take for us to notice what had been there all along, right in front of our noses." Something in his voice made her look up at him, and she saw that his eyes glistened with tears. "You were never second best, Ginger. Never. You were always the one--even if it did take me so long to figure that out." Ginger smiled at him. "Better late than never," she whispered. "If I had to go through it all again... If I had to be that hurt again, the way I was when Sarah chose Hank, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Because if she hadn't broken my heart, I never would have married the love of my life. And I thank God everyday for that. I can't imagine any kind of a future where we didn't end up together--I wouldn't even want to." "Oh, Jeff..." By now, Ginger had let the tears fall from her eyes without shame--there was no need to have her guard up anymore, not with him. "I know I've milked Charlie's leaving me for all it was worth," she said, laughing through her tears, "but the truth is, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It led me to you..." He took her face in his hands and kissed her, the way he kissed her that very first time in the attic on the night they fell in love. When he finally pulled away, he had a strange look on his face, one that made Ginger more than a little curious again. "What's that smile for, Jeff Metcalf?" "What, I can't smile at my beautiful wife without her getting all suspicious?" "I know you, and I know when you've got something up your sleeve-" "In my pocket." "Excuse me?" He flashed his Prince Charming smile. "Not up my sleeve--in my pocket." "What's in your pocket?" "This..." Ginger's eyes widened when he pulled out a small velvet box. "I was going to give this to you after the wedding, but I think now would be a better time to do it." "Jeff, what-" "Shhh..." He slid off the bench and knelt before her, taking her left hand in his. "I know this seems a little backwards-" "When have we ever done things in the right order?" Ginger said, unable to resist giggling. "Hey, are you going to let me do this?" he teased. "Sorry..." He grinned and shook his head. "No other woman has frustrated me more than you-" "Oh that's romantic! But I forgot--you're not so good at making speeches." "I promise this'll be good. You would know that, if you'd let me finish." "Ok. Sorry." "No other woman has frustrated me as much, or driven me as crazy... Or taught me so much, or made me laugh so much, or made me love so much... What I'm trying to say is... You made me more alive than I ever thought I would be. And I am honored to be the one who gets to spend the rest of his life with you." He opened the box and Ginger heard herself gasp. "If I haven't driven you too crazy... Would you marry me all over again, Mrs. Metcalf?" Ginger got off the bench and knelt down on the ground beside him. "As many times as you wish, Mr. Metcalf," she whispered, and she pressed herself up to him and kissed him underneath the stars. Previous| Next Home| Kyle| Tammy| History| Transcripts|Quotes|Milestones|Episodes| Pictures| Fanfic| Links| Email List